I feel see through ... can you see through me?
Things could be much worse. But apparently, I'm actually holding up. I can't possibly say I'm "depressed" but I can't say I'm "happy" beyond all words. I guess I'm just trying to live the last days of my life well.
So now I think I might HAVE an idea of what I want to become ... well at least know where I want to work.
I want to work in an art museum. [According to my mother, I'd be night guard watching everything come to life.] And I find it really odd that my mother didn't put me down this time. It's like EVERY time I tell her one of my ideas, she either says: it's too hard [no shit mother, everything is hard], you'd never make it, that's not a good job/idea, or some sarcastic remark. God ... she always fucking pisses me off when she does that. But not this time, she just nodded. Was it a nod of approval? Or was it just the fact that she NEVER wants to listen, so she just agrees to whatever so I could just shut up?
Then I took revenge on my dad. He jokingly said something about my mom and then later on he pissed me off. So I told my mom about it in front of my dad. My mother became FURIOUS like WOAH. Yeah, then later on that was a total bad idea to take revenge on my dad. So then two days ago, I wanted mother's weird SPANISH NOODLES [I think that's what she called it], so I begged for it and I KNEW my mom was going to make my dad help because you have to cut a lot of stuff. So they totally started talking again after some couple of days of silent treatment.
So today, my dad said he wasn't going to say bad jokes anymore. :P Haha, I taught my dad a HUGE LESSON. XD But it's cool. I love my dad. [YES! And my mother too, even if she pisses me off so much. It's just old age. :P We all get there at one point!]
Well anyways, back to my last days of living. Last weekend was totally the most fabulous weekend EVER. No homework, no friends, just family. [Until Sunday because Jenn and I went to S..P] I just felt relaxed. So I had a few days of happiness from THURSDAY to TODAY.
But today was a bit ... awkward? I don't know what word to use. I did somethings that I told myself not to do ... and I did it ... BAD.
And lately, I've been drawing even more. But the things I've drawn or kind of creeping me out. But Jenni says it's a good thing because it gets rid of Artist's Block. Which apparently is true.
I've never seen or heard of a girl Buddhist. O___O I should totally become one. :P Nah, I'm happy with just being ... me. XD No religion needed. Except my "horrible" conversations with "God". [Yeah, if you want to know what I mean by "horrible" just ask. XD] "God, just make up your mind."
Then lately, everything seems to be about M.C. Hammer. XD THREE different people mentioned M.C. Hammer today. XD Which reminds me of that web comic.
I still can't believe my sister is moving out of town again! I've gotten so attached to my nephew! I don't want him to leave. Like ... my niece, I love her to death but I'm use to her being away from me. But my nephew ... I grew up with him! [Ala, barely around two years. XD] But STILL! It's just ... I love him to death! If I was having a bad day, I'd go with my dad to pick him up from the daycare after school and he would put a huge smile on my face. He's always giggling and he's always so hyped up. I freakin' love that little booger.
And ... IDK! I just have so many things on my mind.
So yeah ... trying to live my last days alive well. =]
